you, and you again, and again (KNY, GenTan)
“This should be the last box…” a loud thud resonated all over the empty walls of the house. They finally arrived at their new home, their new city, to face their new life.
“It sure did take us a lot of time…” their mother complained, “it’s getting dark and we didn’t bring anything to eat.”
Genya could feel his stomach grumble at the mention of food. He didn’t eat anything before they started the move because he was too nervous, something he greatly regrets now.
They have a lot of things to do now, the furniture is all misplaced over the empty floor, boxes piled up in big walls that almost cover the entire surface, the kids are already arguing on which corner of their shared room would be theirs… overall, everyone could already feel the stress growing inside their guts.
“We could go to the bakery that’s downtown, they’re open until late since it’s a family business,” Sanemi commented, taking a box from Shizu’s hands and leaving it somewhere else. “We can go with Genya.”
“Yes! That’s a good idea. Go now before it’s too late!” Shizu searched for her bag, digging as fast as possible to find her purse. She placed it on Sanemi’s hand and pushed both of them to the entrance, “we’ll be waiting for you!”
Before he could even agree, Genya was already outside their house with Sanemi, door closed behind them.
The strange feeling of being in an unknown place is hard to describe, everything is slightly off to him – the smell of the air, the noise of the birds and the wind, the humidity of the place, the names of the streets and the size of the houses, every change was minimal, but still incredibly wild to him. He will have to learn so many things again, though his worries were all focused on one seemingly very silly thing.
How do you make friends again?
When he got the news that his big brother was getting a job as a teacher in a different town, he didn’t hesitate a second to move with him. But now that the rush of adrenaline wore off, he began to realize what all of this truly meant.
He wasn’t nervous, no. There was an itchy feeling about this, yes, but he wasn’t nervous at all. Introducing himself into a new school, in a different town miles away from his previous home and expecting people to be welcoming was a delusional dream, the odds decreased on every factor that could play as a negative for him –him arriving in second year, having his brother as a teacher in the same school he’ll attend are two prime examples already–. But he wasn’t nervous.
Not a single bit.
Once he finally snapped out of the train of thought that took his brain hostage, Genya realized they had been walking in silence for quite a while now. Lost in his thoughts, he also got lost in the way. The streets were already unidentifiable to him and if you told him to go back home on his own he in no way would be able to find the way back.
He could only hope Sanemi wasn’t lost as well.
Genya’s concerns seemed to reach the other side of the world, because before he could ever ask if they were taking the right way, his brother reassured him, “We’re close, I think we need to go down two blocks and it should be there.”
“Ah... okay.”
The black asphalt was glowing with the reflection of the sun burning its last warmth to the people today, the breeze increasing in volume as the sky darkened on every minute, stars spotted at a fair distance already.
Even though he could feel his heart racing at the unknown future that he is yet to see and experience, there was a hidden –under many layers of uncertainty– peace and calm for him and his family knowing this will be a positive change for them. They all had their reasons to think that, but Genya still couldn’t figure what was to come for him.
“Shit. Genya, hurry up.”
Sanemi hurried to get inside the store while Genya was staring at the stars in the sky, still lost and wandering on the glimmering spots appearing one after the other just like his concerns, it took him some seconds to realize where he was supposed to go.
It seemed that the store was already closing, so he also ran inside.
The bakery was small, nothing but a big square with little space to move given the two aisles with bread in the middle. On the sides and surrounding the whole place there were more shelves made of wood. There was no cashier in the check out, and barely anything left to buy inside.
Genya still followed the orders of his brother, though. So he grabbed one of the tongs and put all the leftovers in the tray. When he finished picking up everything, he realized there was a horrible mix of sweet bread and savory and salty bread all in one tray. He began to wonder if this would end in an argument between the kids back at home.
By the time he made it back to the check out, there was still no one, and Sanemi was getting impatient.
“Is anyone here or not?!”
“Comiiiiing!” a sweet voice came from behind the thick curtain, which opened wide but with nothing to find on the other side.
A cold wave traveled down Genya’s spine thinking they had just gotten into a haunted place, but before his soul left his body, a small head popped from the other side of the counter.
Small, but with a very strong aura and with the help of a stool to reach the counter, there was her in all her glory – with a smile wide and genuine, long dark hair barely held together with small hair pins on one of the sides, round face and ever rounder cheeks. Genya guessed she was between ten and twelve years old.
The Shinazugawas stared in silence at the kid, then back at the curtain waiting for an adult to attend them, but nobody came.
A toddler?! Why is there a literal kid working here?!
“Welcome to the Kamado Bakery! We sell bread here!”
“God, not you again,” Sanemi muttered, then he raised his voice. “I’ll have these ...things,” he pointed at Genya’s tray, then he pointed behind the small girl, “and I also want white bread.”
“Okay! We only have gluten-free bread, is that okay?”
“...?”
“...”
“What the hell is that? No, I don’t want gluten in my bread?!”
“It’s gluten free…”
“And? I don’t care if it’s free just keep it away from the fucking bread, come on now!”
Genya sighed as the argument kept escalating between Sanemi, a whole adult and a literal toddler who was probably covering her mom’s shift or something.
“But I don’t want the fucking gluten, man!!”
“And I said it’s gluten free !!
“Then take the fucking gluten out!!”
The girl seemed to be distressed already, unable to hide the customer-service facade, and –rightfully so– she started pouting and answering with meaner, less polite words as Sanemi kept insisting he did not want gluteen –or whatever she said– to his bread.
“Listen, man-”
“Hey, hey! What’s going on, Nezuko?!” from the half open curtain another person came to help water down the argument between them.
Oh man , Genya’s heart skipped a beat.
He couldn’t possibly explain why, given the very distressing situation happening at this exact moment and how embarrassing it is to elaborate on this, but the moment he saw the face of who seems to be this Nezuko girl’s big brother, he instantly felt something build inside his stomach and tickle in his throat. Almost as if the entire background discussion morphed into some sort of angel choir and the dim light transformed into a lot of roses around his aura.
He blushed furiously, face tinted into different tones of red and he no longer could stare at the check out anymore, so he decided to look directly at the entrance that was just by their side.
It was difficult to not take a peek to his side and take a mental photograph of the person that was now arguing with Sanemi for yelling at a kid. He was just average height and, contrary to his sister’s color, his hair had red undertones, what would always steal his attention whenever he’d take a peek at his face though were his earrings, a very particular design he had never seen before.
His heart rate increased once again, this time not because of the situation of his family, this time his hands were sweating beyond repair, his head was empty and he completely forgot how to function. Genya felt like he was about to die that exact moment. Die of what, exactly?! Of love?!
...Love?!
“Listen, sir, there must have been a misunderstanding.”
“Well maybe if you didn’t leave you sister unsupervised, this wouldn’t have happened!”
“I’m sorry?!”
All he’s seeing right now is the unknown person’s anger escalating as fast as Sanemi’s, but his heart is screaming this moment that he has just met his soulmate and he should jump off the counter and kiss him until they’d both run out of breath.
He started to count from ten to zero, from zero to one hundred trying to prevent himself from having a heart attack at the boy that just kept getting prettier over time.
“And let me tell you-” just as Genya was intermittently staring at him, they both made eye contact, making him freeze in place for some seconds. The older Kamado seemed to be in the same state as him, but he shook his head and continued, “I uh , we really take good care of Nezuko! Now! Will you take your bread or not?!”
“I’ve been saying this from the fucking beginning! I don’t want your fucking bread if it has that weird ass gluten on it!”
Much to Genya’s disappointment –both to him and his enthusiastic heart experiencing love for the first time–. It was getting late, and this was going nowhere. So he finally decided to step in the ‘conversation’.
“Okay, I’ll pay… do you guys accept coupons?”
“ NO! ” The three of them yelled at him at the same time, hurting his heart a little.
“No--wait-- yes , yes we do. I’m sorry,” the person, Tanjirou –he finally learned his name by reading the tag hanging on his apron– pinched the bridge of his nose to calm himself down. “Over here-- Nezuko, go inside .”
He could hear Nezuko’s hop and little taps as she got back inside their house. As for Sanemi, Genya asked him to wait for him outside so he could grab some fresh air.
They both stood in silence hearing the little beep s from the cash register, the air was so dense and awkward he decided it was the right time to apologize.
Just that he didn’t know that they were going to speak at the same time.
“I’m sorry about that.” / “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“What? Ah, that was not your fault, Ge-” Tanjirou coughed really hard. “I mean. Uhm, was that your brother?”
“Yeah, he gets difficult sometimes. Don’t mind him, he’s probably hungry or something.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind it,” he grabbed Genya’s coupon and scanned it, “You guys aren’t from here, are you?”
He laughed, “No, we’re not. Do we really stand out that bad?”
“Just a little.”
They both laughed to extend their time together, even though he knew he had to leave at any given time, Genya wanted to avoid that from happening at all costs.
He however could not bring a topic of conversation for his life, so after he finished paying his stuff, he had nothing else to do but leave.
Parting ways with a dry goodbye was incredibly depressing to him, somehow.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome!”
Once the brothers finally were far away from the bakery, Genya scolded Sanemi.
“I’m sorry okay! Who would know gluten-free meant there was no fucking gluten?!”
“Everyone, brother! Literally everyone!”
“Well I didn’t!!” he raised both arms and pointed at himself from above. Then, he crossed them on his chest, “besides, why is this so important to you now? You usually don’t care”
“I… I don’t know! W-we’re new here... we need to make a good impression!”
“Well if they get a bad impression from this then it’s on them. It’s not like they mind either,” his voice dropped a lot of decibels by the end, Sanemi was pouting.
“Why would they be used to you screaming at them, brother?!”
“Bah! You wouldn’t get it! Now give me something to eat, I’m hungry.”
“...”
They walked at a slow peace, tired already from the very exhausting fight and the long path they had to take from the bakery to their house.
Genya could keep nagging Sanemi on his terrible attitude back then, but he knows if he kept insisting on how what he did was wrong, the man in question would get right to the reason on why what he did was so embarrassing for him.
And the reason is plain and simple, he literally fell in love the moment that Tanjirou dude came to his sister’s rescue.
Now he doesn’t even know if he wants to set a foot to the Kamado bakery ever again, given the whole circus show his brother set in the middle of the store, right before it was closing, on top of that. He would be too shy to say a thing without returning the conversation to apologize once again on his behalf.
So there goes his chance at experiencing his first love, it’ll only stay as that – Genya staring from afar high-strung at Tanjirou Kamado’s beauty and tenacity. The strong connection he felt when he first saw him will be nothing but something that lasted a few seconds and both will forget when they’re older.
How unfortunate.
***
“Genya! Hurry up, we’re late for school!” Sanemi yelled from the living room downstairs. “God.. come on!”
“I’m going, geez!” He was trying to get a decent knot on his tie, failing over and over, he finally gave up, grabbed his backpack and ran downstairs. “I’m here, see? Could you help me with this now?”
“Oh Genya,” their mother laughed with care. “I’ll do it for you, stay quiet.”
He kneeled a little to reach her mother’s very small height, knees shaking at the tension as Shizu took her time tying his tie properly.
This is Genya’s first day of school. He can’t tell if he’s excited, nervous, anxious or dying. Last night, he couldn’t sleep until maybe 2AM and this morning he woke up before the alarm rang. Not even when he was five and about to start his life in the kindergarten he experienced any of this, and boy he remembers how excited he was back then.
It’s almost as his body was driven by a strange force, one he won’t get to analyze anytime soon, not unless he wants to be incredibly late.
“You two look so cute like this!” Shizu put both hands together, staring in awe at her older sons standing in the entrance. One of them with a new uniform, the other prepared to put many years of study to use on his first day as a teacher in a school. “Ah, I’m going to cry…”
“Mom…”
“Just leave!” she covered her face with her hands, “you’re going to be late!”
“It’s okay, we’ll be fine. See you later,” Sanemi tried to calm her down. They both walked away and waved at her.
“Take care! And don’t fight anyone on the way!”
The silence in the class was overwhelming. He was standing in front of the class by the homeroom teacher’s side. She was summarizing why and how Genya got there, introduced him and told them the basic scripted announcement every teacher makes when a new student arrives: be nice .
“I’m Genya Shinazugawa. Hope we get along well.”
He bowed, and by the time he raised his head, their eyes locked together again .
“Now, Shinazugawa-san, there’s a free seat right in the back, so you can sit there.”
Of course he spotted the seat, it was difficult to not do so. Not when the person sitting in front of it is no one else but the same person he gave up just a few weeks ago. Radiant, with determined eyes and the softest smile ever seen by the human eye, Tanjirou shyly waved at him as he reached his new seat.
The same feelings he felt back then were still present, just as strong as the first time. A fierce fire inside his chest that would travel all around his body, an incredible fear of the way his heart couldn’t possibly take any more pain, the need every inch of his soul just wants to reach him and talk to him until his brain is content. The way every wire inside his brain just craved him; even though they don’t know batshit about each other.
Once he sat behind him, Tanjirou turned back and whispered, “I finally get to see you again.”
“...Yeah,” he replied.
And something deep inside him kept repeating the same words. This is our second chance .
